Dell Hell: Currently in Purgatory

Last week, I decided this had to end, and called Dell and said I was a small business customer (more on this later) determined not to hang up until this was resolved. Now, I am a small business customer. I've even signed a reseller contract with Dell. Yet for some reason, this order was processed as a home office order.

Regardless, I reached a nice representative, explained the situation, and asked for her supervisor. In summary, my client had shipped the computer back to Dell over a week ago, and Dell had neither refunded my money nor begun processing an exchange.

The supervisor told me there wasn't anything they could do as it was the wrong department, but they promised to make a new case number, clearly explain what had to happen in the notes, and direct me to the correct department. I was then transferred to the Home Office department and sent to India. The representative was, again, incompetent. Even after pulling up the new case number and being told by Small Business policy states I should receive an immediate refund, she cited some nonsense and said I had to call technical support. I said I need to speak to her supervisor. Here's how it went:

Dell Rep: "Yes sir I will transfer you to the appropriate supervisor, please hold."

(hold music)

"Thank you for calling Dell's Automated Technical Support Status System."

At this point, I literally scream. Loudly. I couldn't believe after all that, I had been essentially hung up on. All of the sudden, I hear a voice:

Dell Rep: "Scott, Scott, are you there???

It turns out my amazing rep from the powerless Small Business department had secretly stayed on the phone with me to witness the incompetent representative ignore procedure, cite incorrect information, lie to me, then pawn me off to an automated system -- certainly not their supervisor!

My amazing rep was obviously horrified. She didn't know what to say, besides "This amazes me." We decided to try again. She called again, this time staying on the line and explaining the situation. This time, the Indian rep randomly disconnected us, or at least that's what my amazing rep's system indicated. She was once again speechless and didn't know what to say.

Finally, the third time being a charm, she was able to convince the Indian Home/Home Office rep to issue me the credit I deserved. After dozens of hours dealing with Dell, it is possible my situation may be resolved.

Some other notes:

• I had learned that you receive better service when you call and say you are a small business customer, not a home/home office customer. Home and home office customers are outsourced to India. Small business customers are handled in the US. I hate to sit here and give power to a stereotype, but it was absolutely my experience. With only one exception, every Dell representative I spoke to in India was incompetent.
• The credit card I actually ordered the computer on has since expired, so I doubt the credit can go through. We'll see how long it takes me get them to credit a different credit card.
• Don't forget to read about the evidence I uncovered proving that the refurbished system I was shipped was such a lemon that the previous owner eventually sent it back, too. Apparently, Dell didn't take this as a hint that something needed to be fixed.
• I am exhausted. Anyone know any good lawyers?

· Previously: The Dell Outlet: Lemons for Sale! [ScottKidder.com]
· Previously: Dell Hell, Indeed [ScottKidder.com]